Relationship Advice: A Better Way to Share Household Chores
Chores are more present than ever in our lives. The American Time Use Survey shows that the average family spends two and a half hours a day on household tasks.
Sometimes chores are assigned by splitting everything down the middle. For example: I'll do the dishes today if you do them tomorrow. However, sometimes what is "fair" is not what is best.
The human brain is wired to avoid pain. If I dread a certain chore, my incredible mind will find creative ways to avoid that chore. On the other hand, if I enjoy doing something, my brain will read that as "reward," and I'll be more inclined to keep on doing that chore.
Instead of employing the "fairness" method, assign chores based on family members' strengths. The child who loves being outdoors might be a better fit to mow the lawn than the bookworm who loves to be inside.
When I relate to my partner and family concentrating on their strengths, I offer an invitation to success and a more satisfying relationship, without blaming and shaming about the other's "lack" in a certain department. If I don't like doing the dishes but love folding clothes, I will do a better job and experience more satisfaction being the designated "clothes folder" of the household. Who cares if my partner "only" loads and empties the dishwasher, while I do several loads of laundry? In exchange, I never need to touch the infamous pile of dirty dishes again, and our connection with each other will thrive.
