Soul Matters... May 2007

The Pastoral Conversation

Why Pastoral Counseling?

Many clients seek out pastoral counselors for the simple assurance that their spiritual faith will not be viewed as a symptom of something that is “wrong” with them. Others appreciate the specific integration of pastoral themes in their therapeutic process. Some counselors meet this need by applying “spiritual assessment techniques” that often tap into rich, new layers of insight.

Spiritual assessment techniques range from the basic – such asking simple questions about the faith journey – to the complex – in which clients might take personality-type tests to measure levels of spiritual interest. For example, a spirituality timeline is a simple tool for helping a client begin a conversation about her faith journey. A counselor might assign the timeline as homework or help the client construct it during a session, pausing to consider any patterns or themes revealed in the process. Other methods include self-awareness checklists, family-tree mapping, and faith-journey narratives.

More and more therapy-seekers are open to this sort of spiritual discussion. A survey commissioned by the American Association of Pastoral Counselors and the Samaritan Institute in 2000 found that 83 percent of Americans believe their spiritual faith and religious beliefs are closely tied to their mental and emotional health. Further, 75 percent of respondents said it is important to see a professional counselor who integrates their values and beliefs into the counseling process.

Amid the increasing interest in bringing spiritual assessment into counseling, professionals also must recognize the unique nuances associated with a client’s own intimate spiritual understanding. One individual’s experience is almost always different from that of another, and it is vital to follow the client’s lead when considering spiritual discussion as a part of psychotherapy. The use of spiritual assessment in counseling is never an occasion for proselytizing, but rather an opportunity to deepen a client’s insight and ultimate experience.

This is the second in our series about "The Pastoral Conversation." Click here for a more detailed article about the use of spiritual assessment techniques in counseling.

Relationship Tip of the Month

Love is Not Enough

Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean you will know how to make that person feel loved. Love is a state of being, a feeling in the heart, but to generate that same feeling in the heart of another human being is a process of relationship. Unlike love, which is a gift, a relationship, the experience of being in emotional union with another person, is developed through behaviors and experiences we create on behalf and in the presence of the person about whom we feel love.

Because of this, everything you do or say, or fail to do or neglect to say, to the person you love, has in itself the capacity to deepen or lessen the quality of your bond, and in the end, to either destroy or beautifully develop your relationship.

Today remember the power your behavior has to shape the quality of your relationship.

-From A Garland of Love by Daphne Rose Kingma

THERAPIST SPOTLIGHT: Helen Curtice, LPC

Helen Curtice was one of those lucky people who always knew what they wanted to do in life. “I didn’t have any of that struggle other people have in finding what they want to do – I always knew I wanted to help people,” she says. “I think human beings are fascinating. I like the connection you can make in our field with another human. I am driven to help people, it’s very important to me.”

But Curtice spent 10 years working as a secular counselor before she realized she wanted additional skills to help her reach her clients at a spiritual level. “I was certainly aware of the psychology and the biology of people, but sitting in the room with folks, I just knew that something was missing,” she recalls. Curtice went on to earn a second graduate degree, this time in pastoral counseling, “So that I would be able to speak to and understand that realm.”

Today, Curtice sees a mixture of individuals, couples, and children at PC&CC. During four years of counseling experience in a hospice, she developed a passion for bereavement work that continues to inspire her practice. “There’s a lot of depth in that field. If you listen carefully when working with people dealing with grief, you’ll get a lot back from them. There’s a lot of learning in grieving,” she notes. “As a therapist, if you open your heart and become very available to people, they do want to tell their stories. More than applying a certain technique, it’s really about allowing someone to find a place to rest and to heal.”

Curtice rounds out her practice with Imago Relationship Therapy, depression counseling, and play therapy with children, among other specialties. She also finds it rewarding to work with clients dealing with alcoholism and their families. She has been with PC&CC for nearly three years and particularly appreciates the camaraderie of the staff – which includes her daughter, Cate Shea Riihimaki. When asked to describe what it’s like to have a daughter follow her footsteps into the helping field, Curtice says, “It’s wonderful to have someone so close who speaks the same language. We understand the process and the challenges of each other’s daily work.”

Curtice works in PC&CC’s northwest Washington office at St. David’s Episcopal Church. She may be reached at 202-449-3789 x714

Referral Corner

In our busy culture, all of us are likely to face moments of anxiety from time to time. To be sure, there are certain situations in which it is natural, rational, and often motivating, to experience anxiety.

Diagnosed anxiety disorders differ from normal anxiety in that the symptoms are more intense, last longer, and may lead to phobias that interfere with everyday functioning. If someone approaches you for help with mounting anxiety, and any of the following traits are present, you may want to consider making a referral to a professional counselor:

Panic attacks: including shortness of breath, heart palpitations, dizziness, trembling, nausea, fears of losing control or dying
Agoraphobia: a fear of public spaces that results in avoiding public places or transportation
Social phobia: a debilitating fear of embarrassment or humiliation
Generalized anxiety disorder: persistent anxiety or worry about stressful life circumstances such as relationships, finances, or health
Obsessive-compulsive disorder: recurring obsessions or compulsive behaviors that interfere with daily life
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): disabling psychological symptoms following a traumatic event including repetitive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, feelings of detachment from others, and emotional numbness

PC&CC counselors are available to help talk through your concerns and find additional resources. Feel free to contact us anytime for consultation.

Information culled from The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne.

PC&CC EVENT CALENDAR:

PC&CC’s Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, an LGPC and certified Imago Relationship Therapist, will present a two-hour, Imago-based couples seminar on Sunday, June 3 at 7pm at the Lubavitch Center in Columbia, Md. Couples will learn communication skills that will help them hear one another in more productive ways. The cost to couples is only $10. Contact Rabbi Slatkin for more information at 202-449-3789 x706.
Our “Getting the Love You Want” workshops for couples can serve as excellent premarital preparation or as a way to supercharge a couple’s ongoing marriage counseling. Past attendees have described the experience as powerful, deeply spiritual, inspiring, and fun. The two-day course offers the equivalent of 6 months in couples counseling work. The next Washington, DC workshop will be July 14-15. Click here for more information.