May 2009 Vol. 3, Issue 5
 

On a Budget?

Simplicity Fits the Bill

By Norma Stevens, MS

     With all the gloomy economic news these days, it's hard not to get depressed. More foreclosures...people losing their jobs...credit card debt out of control. Could there be an upside to all this? Perhaps it is an opportunity for all of us to simplify our lives and reflect on what is really important. Hans Hofmann writes, "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

     Our boiler broke in early December. Instead of replacing it, we decided to redesign the entire system. This was going to take time, and time was not on our side. So my husband cleaned out the woodstove, and along with some help from a kerosene heater, we were warm this winter. As I reflect on this experience, I realize how much it brought us together as a family. 
     My husband, our three girls, and I moved and stacked cords of wood, gathered sticks for kindling, and kept that fire going for days at a time. The kids loved it! We all worked toward a common goal and had a sense of accomplishment at the end. In the years ahead, I am sure we will look back on this time fondly.
     I'm not suggesting a return to a "Laura Ingalls" lifestyle, but if we slow down and live more simply, perhaps our true treasure can emerge. A recent edition of Time magazine reports that in this economic downturn, "a third of people polled say they are spending more time with family and friends, and nearly four times as many people say their relations with their kids have gotten better during this crisis than say they have gotten worse."
     I was touched recently when working with a couple who is experiencing a job layoff. The husband said that with their financial security ripped from beneath them, they can now work to build their relationship on a pure foundation. What a gift it is to be able to look at the situation from that perspective.
     Our materialistic culture has been bombarding us with messages, "More is good! Got to have more! Got to be on the go, go, go." As materialism withers, perhaps we can slow down and focus on being grateful for what we have. Money and things bring us temporary pleasure, but being loved and connected with our families and our God brings true joy.  Despite its hardships, this economic meltdown can be a time of reflection, simplicity and discovery of our most valuable riches.
PC&CC's PREFERRED PROVIDERS: Down Dog Yoga

     The counselors at PC&CC often help clients create self-care routines to support their progress in therapy. Self-care options can range from reading a single book for pleasure to becoming a regular at a sports club. More and more counselors are reporting that an established yoga practice has helped clients stay on track as they face old wounds and make big life changes in the therapy process.

     PC&CC recommends the practitioners at Down Dog Yoga for those wanting to explore the possibilities of this strength-building and spirit-enhancing exercise. Born out of garage near the Georgetown canal in 2003, Down Dog now counts studios in Bethesda and Herndon in addition to its flagship Georgetown space.

     Patty Ivey, Down Dog founder and director of teacher development, notes that the studios’ brand of yoga is strenuous and challenging, but also inspirational when approached as one component of a wider-ranging lifestyle commitment. “As the body gets strong, the mind gets strong,” she says, adding that when you train yourself to hold the poses and be present to your body, you also are training your mind to be present to itself. “People are distracted in this culture and yoga helps them become present to all parts of their lives. We develop a higher level of awareness, allowing us to shed old habits, and develop a healthier, happier attitude toward ourselves and others."
     PC&CC Executive Director Carl Siegel is an avid practitioner of this form of yoga and supporter of Ivey and the studio staff. “The instructors at Down Dog gently encourage you to ‘stretch’ into new places physically, emotionally and spiritually,” he says. “They have created an atmosphere that is warm and inviting to people at all levels of growth and development.”

     Down Dog’s approach is a “heated vinyasa flow practice” taking place in a room heated to 90-95 degrees, ensuring that the students sweat through their stress while building strength. Emphasizing the benefits of consistency in this practice, Down Dog recommends that students commit to no less than three classes per week. Classes are designed to suit the needs of all levels, with the opportunity for adaptation in every pose that can suit the novice, as well as the more experienced practitioner.
     When asked about the value of a yoga practice with respect to psychotherapy, Ivey says they offer similar experiences of self-evaluation and acceptance. She describes the yoga student who doesn't believe he can hold a certain challenging pose, and pulls away each time, noting that he also might be holding back from taking other risks in his personal life. “When you accept that the only way out is through, fear moves out of your way,” she says.

For more information, please visit Down Dog Yoga at http://www.downdogyoga.com/

REFERRAL CORNER: Mental Health Assessment
      The line between mental health and mental illness is not always clear-cut. While some mental illnesses have significant, pronounced symptoms, others show themselves in subtle ways that develop slowly over time. The Mayo Clinic suggests that we consider several factors when determining the need for professional help:

  • Behaviors, such as obsessive hand washing or drinking too much alcohol
  • Feelings, such as deep or ongoing sadness, euphoria or anger
  • Unusual thoughts, such as delusions that the television is controlling your mind, or thoughts of suicide
  • Physical signs and symptoms, such as sweating, racing heartbeat or uncontrolled rapid breathing (hyperventilation)

Counselors may consider many factors when working to assess a client including comparing signs and symptoms to specific guidelines for diagnosing mental disorders, while also factoring in a client's own perception of those symptoms. Remembering that everyone has his or her own experience of normal, counselors work to help their clients recognize if certain behaviors and feelings are disruptive or simply part of coping with life changes. At the same time, a counseling relationship can provide a client with an outsider's perspective that may help normalize certain feelings or point out areas for improvement. The counselors at PC&CC are always available for consultation on mental health issues.

Information culled from MayoClinic.com
PC&CC News & Notes

-Kerley Perminio Most is conducting a "Couplehood as a Spiritual Path" program at Brazilian Baptist Church in Wheaton, Md. At 7:30pm on May 9. Contact her at (202) 449-3879 x 708.

-Kathleen E. Scheg will lead another round of her RTA: Releasing and Transforming Anger group starting Friday, May 5th from 5-6:15pm at PC&CC's Takoma Park office. Contact her at 202-449-3789 x710.

-Rebecca Sears will be teaching a two-day advanced clinical course in Imago therapy titled "From Attunement to Attachment" on May 14-15 in Washington. Contact her at 202-449-3789 x702 or email her for more information.

-Our "Getting the Love You Want" workshops for couples led by Carl Siegel and Rebecca Sears can serve as excellent premarital preparation or as a way to supercharge a couple's ongoing marriage counseling. The two-day course offers the equivalent of 6 months in couples counseling work. The next workshop will be July 10-12 at Wellspring Retreat Center in Germantown, Md. Please call Carl for more information at 202-669-6417.

RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE MONTH: Time for Fun
     While in couples counseling we stress the importance of making time to talk and engage in relational exercises such as the couples dialogue. Let me also suggest planning time to have fun. Planning fun? How boring! While it may not sound so spontaneous, it may be the only way that you will ever get around to enjoying each other’s company.
     My wife and I have had a standing “date” night for the last two or three years. We found a babysitter who comes every Tuesday night to give us an opportunity to get out and spend time together. While this does not substitute daily interaction, which is necessary, it keeps the relationship in a positive space and also defuses a lot of potential conflict.
     By making a set time, you are demonstrating commitment to your relationship. Couples often have the best intentions, but in their hectic lives, they don’t always wind up making time for one another. Before we made our date night, my wife would nag me to go out. As I am more of a homebody, I presented an array of excuses on a regular basis. Although I wanted to spend time with her, my indifference sent her a message that I was not interested. After reserving Tuesday nights for the two of us, this issue disappeared. Once in a while something will come up and we need to cancel, but it rarely has a negative impact on our relationship because we know that we have made going out a priority in our relationship.
                                                                                                                    -Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin

The Pastoral Counseling and Consultation Center of Greater Washington
7003 Piney Branch Road, NW | Washington DC, 20012
 7 Convenient Locations in DC Metro Area
www.pastoralcounselingdc.com | 202-449-3789