Relationship Tip: Family Appreciation Time by Caroline Bernhardt-Lanier For many parents, family dinners are a battle. Do you spend most of your meal correcting manners, stopping food fights, or prying a word from moody teens? If so, you're not alone. You can experience more relaxed and enjoyable meals through the practice of regular family appreciation time. Learning to express and receive gratitude helps strengthen a sense of belonging and family spirit. In fact, a growing body of research suggests that habitually focusing on and appreciating the positive is related to a higher level of psychological well-being. Suggestions to get started: Establish a regular evening and time, once a week if possible, when all family members will be present. Train the family to give compliments directly to each person. Make eye contact while saying, "I appreciate you because..." or "Thank you for..." For example: "Sally, I appreciate you because you are generous, like when you offered to help me with my science project." Keep appreciations positive, short, low-key and specific. Kids and adults know the difference between a real sentiment and empty praise. Avoid, "You're the best soccer player" or "You're such a good girl." Train receivers to simply say, "Thank you." No responding. Don't force feuding siblings to appreciate each other, but make sure everyone gets appreciated at least once, especially children who seem discouraged or who have misbehaved. Make sure spouses/partners appreciate each other, too. Let kids lead the exercise as much as possible. Be creative! Some families play "spin the ketchup bottle" to decide who starts, while others ask the youngest member to choose the order. Each person may receive appreciations from everyone, or simply go in a circle and appreciate the person on your right. Close with a family cheer, song, short game, or special dessert treat. Bon appétit and have fun!

BLOG CENTRAL      Our Imago Center  blog page is your resource for weekly headlines in psychology and relationships. Some recent highlights: Lena Aburdene  shares ten tips for choosing the right partner; uncovers the surprising similarities between men and women's sexual behavior; shares the key to embracing the unknown; and the link between anxiety and negative messages. Nathan Gehlert discusses how to talk to someone with depression; forming friendships in D.C.; suggestions for 10 great fall dates; and seven little things that make life effortless.    Ginny Graham writes about the birthplace of joy; the link between Imago therapy and mindfulness; and creating a vision for your relationship.   Roberta Martin reflects on the most important wedding planning task -- preparing for marriage.   Norma Stevens reveals why the U.S. economy needs healthy marriages.   In our Relationship Rules to Break series, we explain why much of the advice out there is misinformation. You may have heard: " Couples should resolve all their conflicts," " You shouldn't have to ask for what you need," and " In marriage, two people merge into one." Norma Stevens, Robert Gordon and Meredith Janson explain why these myths are all wrong.

NEWS & NOTES Single in the City, a support group for unmarried women in their twenties and thirties, is accepting members. The group will meet Wednesday evenings from 7:30-8:50pm in our Capitol Hill office and be co-facilitated by Lena Aburdene and Nathan Gehlert. For information, contact Lena at 202-449-3789, x704 or email her. Kathleen Scheg launched a new Wednesday Releasing and Transforming Anger series on October 26. The 15-week program runs from 8:00-9:15pm in our Takoma Park office. Contact Kathleen at 202-449-3789 x710. Our " Getting the Love You Want" workshops for couples led by Carl Siegel and Rebecca Sears can serve as excellent premarital preparation or as a way to supercharge a couple's ongoing marriage counseling. The two-day course offers the equivalent of 6 months in couples counseling work. The next workshop will be November 12-13 at the Washington Theological Union in Takoma Park, DC. Please call Carl for more information at 202-449-3789 x701. Rebecca Sears contines to offer training opportunities for clinicians. Nov. 31-Dec. 3, she'll begin a Basic Clinical Training (BCT) in Baltimore, MD, for those interested in becoming certified Imago Relationship Therapists. Click here for more information. Internationally, Rebecca will offer a BCT for Russian speakers in Talinn, Estonia Nov. 4-7 and Advanced Imago Training in St. Petersburg, Russia, Nov. 16-19. Robert Gordon, launched a Deep Vocation group in October, and is now accepting members for a second group. This group will meet on alternate Saturdays in our Takoma Park office, from 3:00-4:30pm. These groups offer an evidence-based model of coaching, emotional support, and practical guidance, for people looking for where their passions and talents intersect with what the world most needs. Contact Robert at 301-221-1861. Robert recently did a presentation on his Deep Vocation group for the Tai Sophia Institute's Transformative Leadership and Social Change Program. In October, Robert attended Leadership in an Age of Transition, a day-long intensive led be Charles Eisenstein, author of Sacred Economics. Stacy Notaras Murphy attended a four-session workshop on "Becoming A Mindful Therapist," learning mindfulness practices that can help clients reduce stress, regulate emotions, and feel greater peace. Meredith Janson attended "Living Mindfully, Living Peacefully," a presentation by Buddhist monk and Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, which focused on ways to incorporate mindfulness into everyday life, to increase well-being, decrease anxiety, and feel more connected to others.

The Pastoral Counseling and Consultation Center of Greater Washington
7003 Piney Branch Road, NW | Washington DC, 20012
7 Convenient Locations in DC Metro Area
www.pastoralcounselingdc.com | 202-449-3789